As much as I would like to avoid processed food, I can’t be completely off it. Recently, when I went to buy a packet of puffed lemon rice from a nearby general store I frequently visit, the shopkeeper asked me whether I would be willing to change my preference to the new food time introduced by the famous company. He asked me to try a jhalmuri snack instead. 

‘Oh! Jhalmuri! The one Modiji tasted before paltifying the TMC rule in Bengal?’ I confirmed. But I wasn’t ready for a sudden change in my identity — from a Gujarati surti to a Bengali maanus. Poribortan takes time.  

Walking home, I tumbled into the metaphorical rabbit hole of fantastic thoughts. 

First, I came across a group of angry chameleons. They appeared really upset with humankind, especially the recent Paltu Rams in politics — the ones who defected from their political party for paisa, power and position. How willingly would they change their narrative to suit their political career! 

The reptiles were surprised at humankind’s ability to change colours just as naturally as they did, making it difficult for them to classify them as humans.

Unanimously, the chameleons decided to file a defamation case against the ministers, specifically those who defected from their party. They felt that in the name of freedom, these Paltu Rams are maligning their biological and evolutionary identity. So, the famous chameleon Trumpy, known for its agility to change colours, shouted, Are you with me or with me?, and the sound of cheerful ‘Yay’ reverberated in the hole. 

When I fell deeper into the hole, I saw a small group of cockroaches. They had also gathered for some sort of protest. Eavesdropping on some conversations made me realise that they were discussing India’s current education system. A genuine concern, though. A much-needed poriborton after the NEET paper leak and CBSE controversy.

Suddenly, there was a loud announcement by their leader, who stood on a mound and called himself Tipke. Oh! The same cockroach guy who claimed to have a million followers. But I was surprised to see that only a small percentage of them had turned up for the protest. 

Tipke began with his address to his fellow cockroaches gathered there. ‘Friends, Indians, Gen Z, we demand educational reforms and accountability from our government.’

Mm-hmm.

I could see many cockroaches swiftly running here and there as if they weren’t even aware of what was being said. They seemed unaware of the agenda. Not a fan or follower of cockroaches, I decided to interview a few of them.

One of the youth members told me he was there to demand the resignation of Amit Pradhan, the Minister of Education.

Huh! Amit Pradhan? 

The other cockroach, flaunting his black coat (he said he had come directly from the High Court), told me his bhai, standing next to him in a black coat, would answer the question since he wasn’t aware of the issue at hand. 

Woowww!!! 

Like an enthusiastic young Indian, I approached a group of Gen Z, probably discussing something important. On questioning, one of them belligerently complained about the hacking of EVM machines by the current government in particular states. And the best part was that he even prophesied about the hacking that would happen in Kerala and Tamil Nadu in the next election. 

Uhhm!! 

Finally, I went to a baby cockroach and inquired about the reason for her attending the meeting. Confused, with a fluttering voice, she said she was there to ask the government to stop the war between America and Israel. 

Whaaaattt?? 

Baffled by such responses and the engulfing darkness, I opened the door at the other side of the hole and entered my house. Finally, it was all light and radiant. 

*****

Friend: Be the change you wish to …
Me: Ahha!