Rumbling democracy

inside a train

‘Hello! Please lower the volume or use earphones,’ I asked the man on the train, watching a YouTube video. The discussion on the financial upheaval in the Indian share market by the panellists in the video reached the aisle seat, where I was seated, from the window seat, just like the line moving sideways on a line chart, indicating a sideways trend of a stock.

Apparently, my words didn’t register in his preoccupied ears. So I gesticulated like a flight attendant, synchronizing my hand movements with the words I repeated in my head. Eventually, the window-seat man noticed it and instantly complied, though unapologetically. 

But… but my request was met only to be discarded 10-12 minutes later. A display of sheer entitlement! Annoyed by his inconsiderate demeanour, I decided to start a protest on the train, since sadad pe faisla wasn’t possible then. I put aside my book and unlocked my phone to play a YouTube video. 

But before deciding, I wanted to ask the elderly lady in the middle seat for consent. Perturbed by her neighbour, I shared her frustration at the disregard for her democratic right. After agreeing upon the issue at hand, I watched the news loud enough to disrupt the window-seat man’s attention. I even leaned forward to amplify the effect. 

Lo and behold! The window-seat man was as dismissive of me as the BJP government was toward the CJP and its first-ever protest. 

Having failed as a pressure group, unlike the CJP, which allegedly succeeded in its first protest, I ended my protest, feeling dejected and resumed reading. My YouTube protest, supported only by the elderly lady, fizzled out as soon as it began, much like the E20 fuel protest; even so, I didn’t have enough fuel in my body to fight for my democratic right to peaceful travelling. And how many could I fight against? 

Because it wasn’t just the window-seat man;  another man, who had moved to a vacant window seat with an unoccupied aisle chair, tangentially from me, was watching one of those viral videos with a wheezing laugh track like the whistle of a kettle. Even his raspy laughter, which shook his whole body, matched the artificial wheeze so well. 

Interestingly, every time he watched a reel, he seemed to follow a particular pattern: first, he roared with laughter; then he called out to his wife; and lastly, he confirmed with her whether she had watched the reel he was watching. 

Changing a seat, I realized, can sometimes be as challenging as attempting a regime change

Irked, I shifted my focus to the little child in the front seat who behaved as little children are expected to behave — talkative and playful. Her constant chatter seemed more pleasant amidst the undemocratic chaos all around. 

*****

Friend: ‘Rumbling’ or ‘Crumbling’ democracy?
Me: Suit yourself.

Protests, Poribortan, and Paltu Rams

As much as I would like to avoid processed food, I can’t be completely off it. Recently, when I went to buy a packet of puffed lemon rice from a nearby general store I frequently visit, the shopkeeper asked me whether I would be willing to change my preference to the new food time introduced by the famous company. He asked me to try a jhalmuri snack instead. 

‘Oh! Jhalmuri! The one Modiji tasted before paltifying the TMC rule in Bengal?’ I confirmed. But I wasn’t ready for a sudden change in my identity — from a Gujarati surti to a Bengali maanus. Poribortan takes time.  

Walking home, I tumbled into the metaphorical rabbit hole of fantastic thoughts. 

First, I came across a group of angry chameleons. They appeared really upset with humankind, especially the recent Paltu Rams in politics — the ones who defected from their political party for paisa, power and position. How willingly would they change their narrative to suit their political career! 

The reptiles were surprised at humankind’s ability to change colours just as naturally as they did, making it difficult for them to classify them as humans.

Unanimously, the chameleons decided to file a defamation case against the ministers, specifically those who defected from their party. They felt that in the name of freedom, these Paltu Rams are maligning their biological and evolutionary identity. So, the famous chameleon Trumpy, known for its agility to change colours, shouted, Are you with me or with me?, and the sound of cheerful ‘Yay’ reverberated in the hole. 

When I fell deeper into the hole, I saw a small group of cockroaches. They had also gathered for some sort of protest. Eavesdropping on some conversations made me realise that they were discussing India’s current education system. A genuine concern, though. A much-needed poriborton after the NEET paper leak and CBSE controversy.

Suddenly, there was a loud announcement by their leader, who stood on a mound and called himself Tipke. Oh! The same cockroach guy who claimed to have a million followers. But I was surprised to see that only a small percentage of them had turned up for the protest. 

Tipke began with his address to his fellow cockroaches gathered there. ‘Friends, Indians, Gen Z, we demand educational reforms and accountability from our government.’

Mm-hmm.

I could see many cockroaches swiftly running here and there as if they weren’t even aware of what was being said. They seemed unaware of the agenda. Not a fan or follower of cockroaches, I decided to interview a few of them.

One of the youth members told me he was there to demand the resignation of Amit Pradhan, the Minister of Education.

Huh! Amit Pradhan? 

The other cockroach, flaunting his black coat (he said he had come directly from the High Court), told me his bhai, standing next to him in a black coat, would answer the question since he wasn’t aware of the issue at hand. 

Woowww!!! 

Like an enthusiastic young Indian, I approached a group of Gen Z, probably discussing something important. On questioning, one of them belligerently complained about the hacking of EVM machines by the current government in particular states. And the best part was that he even prophesied about the hacking that would happen in Kerala and Tamil Nadu in the next election. 

Uhhm!! 

Finally, I went to a baby cockroach and inquired about the reason for her attending the meeting. Confused, with a fluttering voice, she said she was there to ask the government to stop the war between America and Israel. 

Whaaaattt?? 

Baffled by such responses and the engulfing darkness, I opened the door at the other side of the hole and entered my house. Finally, it was all light and radiant. 

*****

Friend: Be the change you wish to …
Me: Ahha!