The Dimaagi Naxals

row of soldiers with weapons

Disclaimer: I am a proud Indian, and I am not a ‘Dimaagi Naxal’.

In his address on the 80th Independence Day of India, the Prime Minister used the term dimaagi naxal, presumably referring to those intellectual minds and forces that work against the holistic growth of India. And obviously, as expected, repercussions followed. In no time, many across India fell into his rhetorical trap. Koi shak!

A Gujju at heart, we are told farti topi pehri nai levani, which figuratively means don’t let anyone trick you. Nevertheless, without naming anyone, many were tricked by the Gujju PM, and we had senior leaders like P. Chidambaram who proudly claimed to be a dimaagi naxal. 

Most of us know that Naxalism refers to a militant Maoist movement in India that advocates armed struggle to overthrow the state and establish a communist order. I am sure Mr Chidambaram is also well versed with its definition; after all, he served as the Home Minister of India when naxalites still existed in India.

And it’s not just him. Many politicians and non-supporters of the government had their own interpretations, eventually leading to political mudslinging. 

While everyone was pointing at the outside traitor, my mind immediately identified a traitor within my body—the rebellious hormones. 

Based on my research, in a woman’s body, hormones like estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and many more work for years in harmony with her body, only to seemingly rebel against it as she ages, snailing towards perimenopause and menopause. 

These insurgent hormones start disrupting the body that seems to control them. They fluctuate within her, sometimes drastically, leading to severe anxiety and irritability, much like many in Gen Z. While they are, for obvious reasons, worried about their futures and irritated by the local and global upheaval, many women get irked by something as mundane as thinking about what to prepare for lunch or dinner. 

And I wonder, how come men don’t face such a backlash during andropause? Why don’t they have similar ‘pauses’ in their lives like women after a certain age? 

Disturbed by one more example of inequality, I did some research. Research says many men don’t even realize that their hormones—many of them the same as women’s—interfere in their everyday life. That’s because their hormones vary in amounts and patterns. Their irritation, anger, mood swings, and other symptoms are more about lifestyle than hormones.  

Once I was enlightened, the dimaagi naxal (the result of my fluctuating hormones) within me was struck with an idea. Right now in our country, protests are the new normal, popping up like mushrooms. Why not the women of India rise to a new protest, demanding equality of physical and mental pain for men?

Laughable, of course.

The idea was immediately followed by the realization that such a protest might not gain traction across India. But women can do one thing for sure—begin with creating awareness about male menopause and its symptoms akin to sowing a seed. Scare them with some medical jargon. Hyper-aware them. Podcasts after podcasts on male menopause or late-onset hypogonadism, making them more anxious. Let normal ageing signs worry them. Make them feel that they are victims of some unique changes in their body, thereby putting men and women on an equal pedestal. Dimaagi naxal, of course, because of hormones.

If this kind of protest doesn’t work, women can initiate a fifth wave of feminism, taking inspiration from RaGa’s slogan ‘Smash the patriarchy’ that reverberated at the Chhatron Ki Goonj event in Pune. Surprisingly, the event was exclusively for young women! Why wasn’t it considered relevant for young men?  

Those who got an opportunity to speak from the stage voiced their anger against patriarchy, but no one questioned Mr Gandhi, “Sir, why don’t you begin with smashing the patriarchy by supporting a 33% seat quota for women in Parliament?”

We know the dimaagi kidaa of patriarchy cannot be wiped completely from any society, since the conditioning goes back to eras. Today, in the so-called progressive world, patriarchy is like a sloth; it often stays completely still for long periods to conserve energy, waiting for a predatory moment akin to naxal-like guerrilla attacks. They may not always leave visible physical harm, but they do create a mental dent. True for women and men both. 

Even today, many men in Indian society have not been able to smash the patriarchal concept of mard ko kabhi dard nahi hota—an irony in itself for a manly man. It is this mindset that refrains them from exhibiting their vulnerable, feminine qualities, eventually leading to depression and suicides.

According to the latest official data from the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) report, 73.5% of men commit suicide across the age spectrum. And the most common recorded reason is family problems. 

It’s okay to be called sissy sometimes, man. We are all born with masculine and feminine qualities. Explore them like women. Smash the patriarchy.

BTW, shouldn’t women bear a grudge against ‘sissy’ being used as an insult for men?

*****

Brother: Who, according to you, is a dimaagi naxal?
Sister: Let’s leave that question for today. It’s Raksha Bandhan.

Calls, Covers, Celebration and Commotion

Rakshabandhan is around the corner and we can already smell excitement in the otherwise drowsy atmosphere. The shoppers appear more attentive in following the city’s green, red, yellow, and orange traffic lights rather than the colour-coded alerts that didn’t actualize as cautioned by the Indian Meteorological Department (IMD). Instead of raining cats and dogs as predicted by the IMD, only to be proven predictably wrong, it’s raining sales and discounts everywhere.

However, not everybody would be thrilled about the approaching festival. Some see the rakhi celebration as just another family gathering, and I don’t completely disagree. At the same time, that’s what festivals like Rakshabandhan, Diwali, Utarayan, and many more Indian festivals have evolved into — a family feast.

And today when joint families are becoming less common, such festivals could be considered a need of the hour even if one sees a family member only on special occasions, once or twice a year.

In fact, such a celebratory moment could be used as a springboard to start a conversation with this one-time-in-the-year-meeting brother or sister. To catch up with some of the latest titbits of each other’s lives.

I agree that more often than not there’s more commotion than communication during such gatherings, but that’s what life is all about—without chaos, can we understand calm?

And your peace is tested in every imaginable way — from selecting rakhis and gifts to finalizing the menu for the celebration. The prepping up for the celebration is more interesting than merely the day of celebration.

It begins with making calls by the ladies in the family to mama ki beti or bua ki beti or chacha ki beti or mausi ki beti, or a couple of these betiya, or all of them when there’s a Suraj Barjatia movie-type family. And then there are 3rd generation betiya also for whom calls are made. There’s a complete checklist of names the mother or the wife needs to keep a tab on so that none of them is missed.

Thinking out loud — why is it that the woman of the house (in most cases) has to make calls? Is there any such clause in the Constitution of Patriarchy that feminists should be directed to?

Or possibly, such a work of responsibility is awarded to women since they are the ones who score higher than men in areas of interpersonal relationships and social responsibility? Someone who understands how to bind families together. There are exceptions, of course.

Once you (the sister) have received the calls and checked the box next to each brother’s name, the scavenger hunt begins. You dash from one shop to another, looking for the right and affordable gifts for your brothers. (You generally have a budget to follow unless the Ambani(s) is the limit). Because there will be some who love chocolates, some who love mithai, some who prefer sugar-free cookies, and some who are under an oath to not have any mithai, chocolates, or cookies for a certain period.

Buying thoughtful gifts for your brothers can be daunting, but it’s fun too. Of course, brothers also make a humongous effort to prepare envelopes, also called covers (which again are generally bought by the woman of the house) for their sisters, considering the creeping inflation. Hopefully! 🙂

The covers remind me of the generation-old practice of maintaining a book to record the money given and received during festivals and marriages. Have you come across a 100-page hardcover notebook in your mother’s almirah, where they made a note of who gave what and when?

Preparing covers for numerous sisters is not as simple as Mr. Gandhi’s remark about ‘budget ka halwa’ might sound. Like the ‘halwa ceremony’, marking the final stage of the Budget, brothers decide on a budget a few days before Rakshabandhan — a traditional practice of deciding whom to give how much. Your bond with your brothers could be one of the criteria for the amount you would receive in a closed envelope. A deciding factor.

Might not be true for every individual. Because not everyone believes in following their parents’ age-old footsteps. Just as smartphones become smarter with each new update, brothers are becoming smarter by the day. They understand that, with time, the value of money has changed and so should the weight of the covers. (Some hint, just in case…:)

And finally, there’s D-Day. Happy celebration and happy commotion. Colourful rakhis, kumkum, fancy covers and gifts, and family lunch or dinner.

*****

A quick reality check:
Are we celebrating the bond between a brother and a sister for the sake of it? One more example of conditioning since we’ve been tying rakhi from a very young age? Is it perfunctory? Or are genuine emotions of love and care at play on both sides?

*****

Brother: What do you want for this Rakshabandhan?
Sister: Acknowledgement.

Source of the image – https://cdn.siasat.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/images-11.jpeg