Clue 1: Do you remember the devil of the 1990s? The one in a green gown like a cape, 2 horns on his shimmering bald head, an ominous green snake around his shoulders, long green nails, and a mocking smile. 

Clue 2: Neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride!

Does the bell ring for you? Yes, I am sure you do remember – the ones who are in their 40s and above will do – the advertisement for Onida TV with the above tagline. The company has of course changed its tagline since TV is no more a commodity to envy. Unless you suffer from envy because you do not have a Smart TV. 

Hey, wait! I have no intention to add to your knowledge of the definition of ‘envy’ and its 2 kinds – ‘malicious envy’ and ‘benign envy’. You can just read it, if you want to, by clicking on the hyperlink. 

What I intend to talk about is how sometimes I envy #TwinkleKhanna. Of course, I enjoy reading her works with scintillating humour and scathing sarcasm. Her puns are fun. The reason for my envy is because of the time she can invest in writing. But you know what, I got to know that she envies #AmishTripathi – the author whose novels have a mythological aspect associated with them. Twinkle has confessed her envy on one of the talk shows.

In the talk show held by the Hindustan Times, both the authors, Twinkle and Amish shared their daily routines. What time they wake up, their writing hours, the change in their career. Basically about an author’s life and their works. Twinkle goes on to say that a man doesn’t have to worry about sending kids to school and running around the house in the morning. He is not a wife and a mother. This is the major reason for her being benignly envious of Amish. Yeah, stereotypically true. 

It seemed that Twinkle had done proper research on Amish. How he spends around 30 – 45 minutes reading four different newspapers and does pooja for about half an hour. How he keeps some cream biscuits handy while writing.

While he could use a few morning hours in knowing what’s happening outside in the world so as to get some inspiration for his writings, Mrs Khanna would remain busy sending her kids to school. And somewhere during this show or a different one – I don’t remember – she remarks that she yearns to have a privilege like Amish, but for that, she continues – ‘I need a wife’. 

This statement stuck with me. I realised. Hey! I too need a wife. 

No, no. Don’t get me wrong. I do not fall in the ‘other’ gender category. I always check the box against ‘F’ on forms. 

This reminds me of a hilarious incident that happened to me when I started designing after my college. I know I am diverging from my topic but, you know, nowadays diversions are what we see all around in the city. And as if this is not enough, there are people who think that their fathers have built the roads and they have all the rights to use them as they want. They block them, barricade them by parking scooters or putting a multitude of bamboos whenever they please, either for marriage or some religious functions or some political bhasan. So, it’s like a subset of a set of diversions. 

Diversions seem to have gotten into my small head. 

Back to what I was saying. One of my cousins and I were, and are, quite close to each other. We were partners in women’s wear design. We would chat for hours outside my house discussing designs and other things. At times she would lean against my scooter in such a way that her face would be quite close to mine. Naturally, we also had secrets. But our body language seemed to have sent the wrong message to someone who was always watching us from above. I am sure it would not have mattered to the Father in the heaven that we were different from others as He didn’t mind it in the time of Mahabharata and Ramayana as well.

Purush napunsak nari va jiv charachar koi / Sarv bhav bhaj kapat taji mohi param priy soi.
(Any man, any transgender, any woman, any living being, as long as they give up deceit and come to me with love for all, they are dearest to me.) – Immortal India by Amish Tripathi

– https://www.hindustantimes.com/

We realized that it was her nani who kept an eye on us. She lived across from my ancestral house. She seemed to spy on us and our behaviour. Maybe, she wanted to make sure we followed the PDA policy. Why? Because during that time Deepa Mehta’s movie ‘Fire’ was in the news. And our dear nani with big diamond studs fancied us to be in some unnatural relationship. I am sure she would have been elated and relieved when my cousin chose a man to marry after a few years. 

So, back to the context – ‘I need a wife too’. 

It is almost a year without any job and I am comparatively free and relaxed. I have created an opportunity for myself to read and write. However, as a middle-class woman, I still can’t manage to live my life like Twinkle Khanna. Nor even like Amish Tripathi. Many times, fruitlessly I have tried clapping my hands with authority in the hope of getting my work done by some attendants. Sadly, no one came through the wooden doors. But it makes me feel good to think that even if I don’t have people at my beck and call, I still have some people who envy my life as well.

You see, life is a full circle, with some diversions of course. 

Many people have told me that they envy my life. Life with lesser responsibilities and the privilege and freedom to do what I want to do. Yeah, at least I do not have to wait for a husband who also returns from work and spends more time on the mobile than spending time with the family. At least, I don’t have to make haste in preparing meals for the family immediately after I freshen up. And, at least, I don’t have to handle my kids and their homework singlehandedly most of the time.  

Hey! Should I take some pride to be the owner of such a privilege while making my neighbours writhe in envy? 

Source of the image – https://t.pimg.jp/061/780/991/1/61780991.jpg