Posted on by nikita

Fan, Fanatic, and Fantastic

Nowadays, my day starts with the banging of the hammer; the clanging of the rebars, sliding off a truck; the roaring machines; and the shouting of the labourers. Every other minor noise outside is lost in the din. But suddenly, one day, there was an eerie silence, as if everything came to a standstill.

In this unanticipated, random, peaceful hour, I stood up to switch on the fan. No sooner did I switch it on than the stillness in the atmosphere was punctuated by the squeaking of the fan. 

I was like, ‘Hey! I just got your capacitor changed so that you start working, and now you have found another way to seek my attention? It’s too much now.’

But, on a serious note, how much is too much? 

A whirring fan is just a small example from my day-to-day life, but what about the wife in Mumbai who made fantastic demands from her estranged husband of an 18-month-old marriage? A BMW, a luxury apartment, and ₹12 crore as part of alimony! 

Of course, there are some cases where alimony demands are genuine and a valid source of survival for a woman, especially when she is a homemaker, and when a woman is completely dependent on her husband. 

But this Mumbai divorce case in particular, and many recent divorce cases, where the wives have demanded huge alimony, give rise to debatable questions, like — where does genuine maintenance end and aspiration begin? Who draws the line between empowerment and entitlement? 

Some argue that some women play the victim card for the ease of a luxurious lifestyle, while others misuse the laws for women’s welfare, replacing them with official extortion from estranged husbands.

In such situations, how much is too much?

Even Mr. Trump, in his second presidential innings, appears to be portraying himself as a victim, assuming that America is being “ripped off” and “pillaged” by other nations in terms of trade. Caught between the dichotomy of being delusional about America’s economy and conscious of the fact that there’s neither peace nor prize for being a Nobel mediator between warring nations, the President has imposed unjustifiable tariffs on different countries — an unfair extortion at an international level?

For over four months, every night, he must have scratched his head, covered with blond hair —  yet again, a new colour, mulling over the question — How much tariff is too much tariff? And, every morning, for the same number of months, the leaders of different nations must have woken up to the fanatic ‘tweet, tweet’ notification sound. 

The twittering is still a pleasant sound, like music to the ears, reminding us of cute little sparrows, but the cooing and pooping of pigeons is slightly displeasing. At least to me. And apparently, such displeasure is not bound within the four walls of my house, but has entered the city of Mumbai as well. A dispute between the BMC and animal lovers has erupted in Dadar, regarding health concerns — BMC’s worry about the hazardous effects on human health due to the feathers and droppings of pigeons, and the protestors’ worry concerning the health of the pigeons of Kabutarkhana, who might starve to death if not timely fed. 

Again, how much is too much?

*****

Arjun: How much is too much?
Krishna: Parth, karm kar, phal ki chinta mat kar. 

Source of the image – https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ-6VOWXUYNmZ34qkOiRkZeXQCGPSaq6EN5CA&s

HAPPY JANMASHTAMI


Posted on by nikita

Fill-in-the-gap

people holding puzzle pieces

If filling generation gaps were as simple and easy as filling the gaps in an exam question paper! 

The inspiration for this analogy emerged from an interesting discussion among ‘pupils’ from different generations – Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z. 

I say ‘pupil’ because everyone engaged in the discussion learned one new thing about a generation distinct from their own. It seemed so. A new perspective. A different thought, encompassing topics such as social constructs, parenting, lifestyle, life partners, marriage, and religion.

Surely, the answers to the questions raised weren’t as easy and definitive as the responses to fill-in-the-blanks. We either fill in the blank with a correct answer or a wrong one. True for subjects that are based on logic and facts. For example, math, science, geography, civics, and so on. 

Those were fun exercises; easy-to-copy questions in exams, like other objective-type questions. What was true for my friend was also true for me. 

But we can’t be certain when the question involves filling a generational gap, since each generation has different options to consider. The probability of having a definitive answer is negligible. It’s more like literature, history (a blend of objectivity and subjectivity), art, and music that are subjective. These subjects require interpretive, analytical, and evaluative skills, which are also vital for understanding the communication gaps between people across generations. 

On second thought, a lack of communication is also evident between people belonging to the same generation. And sometimes the result is violent and gory — a recent Meghalaya honeymoon murder case.

In some cases, despite the language of communication being the same, people fail to understand each other; in others, language itself becomes a battleground. For instance, a brawl between an auto driver and a commuter in Bengaluru over language use — the driver demanding to speak in Kannada and the commuter speaking in Hindi and English. 

Wasn’t it unnecessary for both parties to fight over language? 

When the rickshawala knew English (as shown in the viral video), he could have replied to the commuter in English. At the same time, if the commuter were a migrant, one would expect her to know the regional language. At least the basics.

And now that we already have AI to fill the language gap, why clash over languages? Use a Google translator and keep moving. What’s the big deal? Why create a ruckus over the language preference of the natives and non-natives? Instead, why can’t we respect and celebrate the diversity of languages? Isn’t India known for its ‘Unity in Diversity’? 

However, in today’s braver India, the slogan could be tweaked to ‘Unity in Adversity’, considering national unanimity during Operation Sindoor. Only if the still-young Gandhi doesn’t take any offence, much like he did with the EAM’s particular remark regarding Operation Sindoor. Mr. Gandhi claimed that Mr. S. Jaishankar had informed the Pakistani defence about the military operation ‘at the start’ of the attack. But anyway, most Indians already realize that filling the cognitive gap in Mr. Gandhi’s political and linguistic understanding is a tough task.  

In all probability, such a lack of understanding in an adult could be one of the reasons why the government insists on mandating multilingualism in the school syllabus, which enhances an individual’s cognitive abilities. The government would want kids to grow up into smarter adults for a progressive India. 

But, of course, like any other issue, the language issue is also politicized in India, particularly in the states of Maharashtra, Karnataka, and Tamil Nadu. Apart from daily skirmishes over the means of communication, which sometimes become fatal, the leaders in these states are engaged in a battle with the Centre over the three-language policy. 

Sometimes I wonder — Where do these people get so much energy from? Don’t they get tired of quarrelling over everything? Even if it’s their job to oppose, still, it must be stressful to fill in the unanswered blank by the government with sensible arguments every time. 

*****
Friend: Seems I need to stop binge-eating.
Me: Fill the gap in your belly applying the ‘Jordan Formula’. New gyan. 




Posted on by nikita

Reborn — The X-factor

‘Why don’t you buy a pet?’ comes one recommendation. 

Pets are adorable, but I prefer to be at arm’s length from pets and pethood.

‘Why don’t you adopt a child?’ That’s another.

At that moment, all I could hear in my mind’s ears was the beautiful song from the movie ‘Maachis’ — Chhod aaye hum woh galiyan … Gone are the days of potty training, teething troubles, and midnight burping. At the menopausal stage, managing my moods is somewhat challenging for me — how do I summon the elon to babysit a child as the trolled President Mr. Trump unintentionally did at the Oval Office? 

While Father Musk, an X-DOGE, was addressing the reporters regarding the scope of the Department of Government Efficiency work, Grandpa Trump was unexpectedly seen babysitting Musk’s X. Mind you, it’s not an Ex, it’s just X. Confusing naming trends, much like the language itself. After all, names are born out of a language.

The world is not unknown of the fact that Elon Musk takes his little X to almost every meeting, disregarding criticism — is it a gesture of parenthood or for creating some public perceptions? Similarly, many women across Brazil and the UAE are spotted taking ‘Reborn Dolls’ to different places, making me wonder for a nanosecond — How about adopting a reborn doll?

For those who are unaware, these dolls are gaining attention globally due to their life-like realism and intricate craftsmanship. A hobby turned into a million-dollar business for many craftsmen, and an adorable collection for art lovers. These dolls have also proven therapeutic benefits for women who struggle with infertility or infant loss.

Sifting through different options and on conscious pondering, I realize that I can’t adapt myself to adopt either a pet, a child, or even a reborn doll. I ain’t that adept. 

And seemingly neither is the LOP in India. Considering the current political status of the INDI alliance, they need to be adept enough to Modi-fy their weak and outdated narratives  — not just with slogans, but with substance — or it might cost the party more senior leaders (one could be Mr. Shashi Tharoor) who appear to be modi-fying themselves. The party may want to learn a different RaGa and reinvent itself from its threadbare political structure. It needs to become more realistic in its approach to fill the void of a strong opposition in a democratic nation, akin to the hyper-realistic reborn dolls, which fill the void in the lives of many women across the globe. 

Because Modi — a political figure who consistently and effectively redesigns his vision for a new India, for better or for worse? — doesn’t just believe in surgical strikes when needed, he also has the acumen to strike the spiritual chord of global citizens, as seen in his introduction of the Indian practice of yoga on the Global stage. From local to global — a shared vision for a healthier and more conscious world. 

Inspired by such initiatives, I decided to incorporate a few more yogic postures into my simple exercise routine, and in no time, the universe conspired to help me achieve it. In a couple of days, a good friend of mine shared information about an online yoga session. My third eye, meditatively trained to remain alert, immediately captured the message of the universe. Without much ado, I registered myself for the session. And in a couple of days, in harmony, my body and mind — which are not mine as per the spiritual concept of Sadhguru —  revealed to me that my not-so-younger tissues and muscles need to be reborn. 

All said and done, aren’t we all trying to reborn ourselves in one way or another? Be it at a personal, professional, or spiritual level.

*****

Friend: If given a chance, what would you want to be reborn as?
Me: The grass in my garden is sufficiently green.


Posted on by nikita

Spic and span, here’s my hand

She pricked the vegetable uttapam with the fork in her left hand, moved the knife back and forth over it with her right hand, like a saw on wood, and cut a bite-sized piece of uttapam. Then, she elegantly dipped it in chutney and gently put it in her mouth.   

By this time, I had already mindfully chewed a couple of pieces, letting them glide down my fibromuscular esophagus into my hangry stomach, making at least one aspect of my life easy — eating with my hands. 

Generally, I avoid eating food that requires a fork and knife. And if it’s too tempting, I let others lead, and I follow suit. But when I see them struggling to cut a piece, I pounce on it with my hands and simply devour it. To hell with table etiquettes.

I don’t remember at what age I learned the art of eating with my own hands, just as I don’t remember the sudden appearance of forks and knives in my home — how they stealthily entered our kitchen territory!  

Forks still find their way out of the kitchen drawers on some days in many households — these days, many people even eat fruits with a fork (at home)! But knives remain reticent most of the time. Unless you are someone who eats pancakes, known as pudla or puda in desi language, with a fork and knife even at home. 

Doesn’t this cutlery look like armaments?

In a restaurant, when I see a systematically arranged fork and knife on either side of a plate, they conjure up an image of a military arsenal. Once the delicious food is lovingly placed on the table by the swiftly moving waiters, you pick up your fork and knife as if preparing for some kind of ambush — an attack on the unarmed food in front of your greedy eyes. For instance, using a knife and fork to eat hara bhara kabab, masala dosa, stuffed samosas, and a few other food items. 

Who needs a fork and a knife when you have five tines on each hand? And how can you chuck the joy of slurping a mango seed in an Indian summer till a couple of stubborn fibres get stuck between your teeth? (A tribute to summer)

I distinctly remember one aunt from my childhood who would run behind her small daughter, a fussy eater, trying to feed her with her loving hands. The daughter would scamper from one house to another in the neighbourhood. As soon as the aunt caught hold of her, she would forcefully stuff a big triangular piece of roti, concealing some sabji in the center, into her small mouth.

Imagine her chasing her child, fork and knife in one hand like weapons, threatening her child to eat — like a miniature, AI version of Rani Laxmi Bai. 

Of course, good table manners are needed,  whether you’re dining at home or in a formal setup. And frankly speaking, many Indian food items don’t even require cutlery except a simple, solitary spoon. But fascination with foreign culture has gradually overshadowed even our eating habits along with the choice of food. Often, people suppress the natural urge to eat with their hands, either because of the setting or social expectations. And as the adage goes, ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do. ’ 

Instead, I would say, Rome or home, let your senses lead the way. 

*****

Mother: Today we have daal bhaat for lunch.
Daughter: Where’re my chopsticks?

Posted on by nikita

The Art of Balancing — Is it for real?

“NJ, you are an inspiration for the other team members regarding work-life balance”.

These were the words of one of my colleagues during my farewell. While I was at my job, many co-workers admired and respected my inclination for work-life balance.

But the recent statements by Infosys co-founder Mr. Narayana Murthy and the chairman of L&T Mr. Subhramanyan have not only shocked me but also compelled me to rethink my work habits and even question my capabilities. 70 hours a week? 90 hours a week? Was it possible for my brain to work sanely beyond an 8-hour job?

And to add to this melancholy, I don’t even have a spouse to stare at me. At least, it would have taken away a bit more of my remaining 16-hour day, in addition to cooking and cleaning.

Of course, Mr. Murthy’s and Mr. Subhramanyan’s approach to work is their corporate way of enjoying life, which is different from mine. To each their own — just like families, friends, and relatives at a marriage, each with their own expectations.

One of the most common scenarios in Indian weddings is the helplessness of the bride and groom in maintaining a balance between their in-laws’ excitement during photography. It’s like a tug-of-war — which family will click photographs first with the newlywed? It’s amusing to watch both parties in constant tussle trying to prove who has the upper hand. Who is superior? Because it doesn’t stop with a single family photo; they gather a crowd of relatives and friends on their sides, each waiting for their turn to be clicked with the couple —  proof of their attendance at the wedding.

Hardly anyone cares about the comfort of the couple in question. No one notices their efforts in balancing the weight on their heads — the groom with a heavy headgear in the form of safa (turban) and the bride with the stiffly and densely pinned pallu to her hair-do.

The newlyweds aren’t the unusual Kumbh Mela babas who seem to have mastered the art of balancing: like the one with a 45 kg tower of rudraksha beads on his head, and another with a pigeon perched on his head. (I thought only Sooraj Barjatya was fond of pigeons who could get his lyricist to compose a hit song on a pigeon in the 1990s.) Such an ability to balance can be achieved only after years of practice and penance, which the newlyweds lack.

This brings me to an understanding that balance isn’t everyone’s forte — whether it’s physical, social, or mental. Whether on the head or in the head. Take YouTuber, Ranveer Allahbadia, for instance, who is all over the media for his inappropriate comments. His apology seems to convey that there was some chemical locha in his mind during a reality show appearance.

Did the chemicals in his Beer hit him so hard that he lost the ability to distinguish between ‘pure humour’ and ‘putrid humour’?

Apparently, at this point, even his Biceps can’t help him fight the backlash he’s facing. And that too for copying the content from an Australian reality show, Alan Vs Sam.

We don’t know why he said what he said.

Whatever the reason, the art of balancing isn’t as easy as giving advice — whether in work, personal life, or maintaining a public image.

*****

An afterthought: What about environmental balance?

*****

Husband: You should have been vigilant about the stuff our child watches.
Wife: I have a WFH (Work FOR home) job. Just like you.